Many mothers feel guilty when prioritizing their needs, and so they repress them until one day they emotionally explode and/or somatize. Between work, parenting, and responsibilities—is there space left for you? In this article, I talk about how self-knowledge and personal growth are not only possible in motherhood but necessary.
1. The Myth of the “Mother Who Can Do It All”
Social pressure vs. daily reality
Context matters—a lot. In the past, mothers ‘only’ mothered (which is already a huge task, hence the quotes around “only”). And it was assumed that, as a result of the long-awaited and well-deserved equality, a woman’s freedom today means being able to choose to be a mother and a worker at the same time. Which implies a tremendous load: it’s like having two jobs at once. One of them unpaid. Two lives in one woman’s hands.
And of course, what ends up happening is that family and work are prioritized, and the time and energy for self-care become nonexistent.
Let’s be honest: not all women find self-fulfillment through work, nor through motherhood and/or family. That’s why this idea of freedom must be questioned by each woman today—to define what it means and to trace her own path toward a more conscious and fulfilling life and motherhood.
How This Model Impacts Emotional Health
When we don’t have time to be a woman—only a mother—our emotional needs become repressed and/or projected. That means they’re blocked until the body can’t take it anymore and expresses itself through emotional, relational, and/or existential crises.
Or it projects them, which means it generates irritation toward those who do express and satisfy their physical and/or emotional needs. Feelings of anger and envy may arise, sometimes toward friends, partners, or children. This creates guilt and isolation, for not understanding or sharing what’s really happening inside.
The Somatic Consequences of Forgetting Yourself
Motherhood brings countless beautiful and unmatched sensations and feelings, different from any other kind of relationship. But it also involves high doses of dedication and exhaustion that take a toll on our mood and ability to manage day-to-day life.
The body records and remembers everything. Motherhood is a deeply ambivalent process; everything happens fast, and yet slowly at the same time. It is the most intense evolutionary shift in a woman’s life, in the shortest amount of time.
Neuroscience has already shown that a woman’s brain changes when she becomes a mother.
The body stores all these new experiences and, if there’s no space to process, repair, and reframe them, they eventually manifest as symptoms, illnesses, or depressive, anxiety, and/or panic episodes.
Sometimes, intrusive and/or obsessive thoughts also appear. And prevention is always better than cure. So if we learn to listen to, understand, and prioritize our body, the benefits will ripple across all vital areas. Even childhood wounds are invited to heal through motherhood.
2. Signs That You Need to Reconnect with Yourself
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Constant exhaustion, lack of motivation, or a sense of emptiness
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Emotional disconnection
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Difficulty enjoying the present
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Irritability, feelings of anger and/or envy
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Existential crises
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Anxiety
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Difficulty sleeping
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Increased or decreased appetite
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Headaches and/or back pain
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Hormonal imbalances
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Social withdrawal
3. Is It Possible to Take Care of Yourself While Raising a Child?
Not only is it possible—it’s necessary. So that what we give remains sustainable over time and constructive.
What we experience in the present also triggers memories from the past. When we mother, we connect with the childhood stories we lived—and that becomes a good opportunity to care for our inner child and offer her what she didn’t have.
Wounds of abandonment and/or invasion are common, and embracing, healing, and containing them is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to those around us. We heal transgenerational traumas that run like a cascade through our unconscious.
The Importance of Self-Knowledge
We must explore and understand what each of us is carrying. Often, so much responsibility turns into overwhelming self-demand that drains both mind and body.
Create a plan of activities that allow us to release what no longer serves us, and choose what benefits, defines, and recharges us.
This is autonomy and freedom at their fullest expression. And I can’t think of a better gift to offer our children than these two virtues.
Develop a commitment or action plan with the activities that energize you, and minimize—or eliminate—those that generate conflict and drain your energy.
To do this, it’s recommended to do a daily “check-in” of mind and body several times a day, to explore how your environment is impacting you.
Setting Boundaries
This is one of the most challenging topics mothers face.
Allowing yourself to set boundaries—for example, if the relationship with your own mother is conflictive, you can minimize contact or find strategies to disconnect before it becomes too much.
Or if you’re overwhelmed by endless recommendations on social media about how to feed or sleep-train your baby, and that noise silences your inner wisdom and intuition—set limits on your use of those platforms.
Creating Your Own Space Is Not Selfish
It’s conscious self-care and responsibility. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Eventually, you’ll burn out—or lash out.
I’ve always believed, and I can now confirm, that what is good for one person is also good for their loved ones—even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
There’s so much to learn when someone chooses to prioritize and take care of themselves. Self-love expands and becomes love that can be shared with others.
How Small Changes Create Big Effects on Your Wellbeing
The path to wellbeing is a process, not a result.
Respect its rhythm and always return to your commitment to self-care, listening, and ongoing acceptance.
4. What a Group Space Can Offer You
One of the most frequent and painful aspects of motherhood is isolation.
Being constantly busy and tired makes it hard to maintain relationships and/or activities that nourish us.
A safe space made up of other mothers will offer validation through shared experiences, tools for emotional regulation, and endless doses of support and healing.
A space to explore, listen to your needs, your body, your emotions—without noise or demands.
A space to release, vent, unload, lighten the load… and receive understanding, containment, and acceptance.
5. My Experience as a Mother and Therapist
After going through motherhood myself and supporting hundreds of mothers as a psychotherapist and psychologist, I can confirm that isolation only makes things worse—for ourselves and our loved ones.
Not taking perspective and endlessly repeating the same types of tasks leads to serious depletion of our emotional resources.
That’s why I believe that simply knowing there is a space for you, where you can meet with other mothers going through similar experiences, is medicine.
It instantly benefits your mind, body, soul, and relationships.
The power of the group will always outweigh the power of the individual. The tribe acts as a facilitator or channel to release what we inherited or experienced—and what no longer serves us.
Cultural, family, and gender patterns that limit us can become engines of change, progress, and freedom.
Energy begins to flow from the inside out—and our children, partners, and close relationships feel that shift.
It’s a cascading, expansive process that benefits everyone.
All it takes is to gift yourself a couple of hours, twice a month, in a safe space filled with resources, energy, and healing presence.
6. If Any of This Resonates with You…
If you need some time for yourself—to pause, to reconnect, to recharge, and return to your loved ones in a better state—this is your space and your moment.
Learn more about the workshop for mothers here and book your spot if it feels like a gift to yourself.
