Of the many workshops led by Dr. Cristina Montoro, the motherhood workshop was the first one I attended. It was a deeply personal topic, a unique experience for every woman and, at the same time, so universal and natural that it felt difficult to approach.
Talking about motherhood in a therapeutic setting can be delicate. Just because something is natural does not mean it is simple. On the contrary, within that apparent naturalness many women experience internal tensions that are difficult to express.
At its core, motherhood can become a whirlwind of physical, biological, neurological, psychological, and, of course, emotional changes. This workshop revealed just how psychologically demanding motherhood can be, but also how deeply beautiful and instinctive it can become.
In many ways, it is a magical and nurturing experience. And yet, one feeling appeared repeatedly among the participants: guilt.
Guilt for comparing oneself to other mothers.
Guilt for not meeting society’s expectations—or one’s own.
Remorse for feeling frustrated with one’s children or partner.
Even shame for simply wanting a pause.
Being a mother is an immense task, and there is no single way to define it. Just as there is no single correct way to raise a child.
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An Approach That Sees the Whole Person
One of the things that stood out most to me about the workshop was Cristina Montoro’s holistic approach. Instead of focusing on a single issue or symptom, she invited us to look at the person as a whole.
Part of the work involved helping mothers become aware of the role their bodies play throughout motherhood.
Just because pregnancy and childbirth have passed does not mean the changes end there. The body continues to undergo hormonal and emotional transformations long after a child is born.
Many women describe this stage as the beginning of a new chapter of womanhood.
Suddenly, it is no longer just a relationship between you and your body. It becomes a relationship between you, your body, and the human being that body has created.
During the workshop, there was not only discussion about intuition or the mind–body connection. There were also simple, concrete practices: conscious breathing, short meditations, relaxing the body, even something as simple as smiling.
These practices created a space for women to reconnect with their bodies. After childbirth, many women feel a certain distance or disconnection, and yet the body remains a deep source of vulnerability, strength, and pleasure.
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The Kind of Fatigue That Isn’t Always Visible
As the session progressed and the women shared their experiences, I remembered something I had once learned: the importance of recognizing different types of rest.
Sleeping is not always enough to recover from exhaustion.
There is an approach that speaks of seven types of rest: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sensory, creative, and social.
Listening to some of the mothers, I realized that many of them were probably getting enough sleep, and yet they still seemed to carry another kind of fatigue—something more cognitive or even spiritual.
It could be felt in their words, their energy, and the way they described their daily lives.
Mothers often lead very demanding lives, and it is not always possible to address all these types of rest. But recognizing them can be revealing, as it helps identify where the exhaustion truly comes from.
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The Need to Feel Supported
Another theme that emerged strongly was the feeling of lacking community.
Many mothers have partners, family members, or friends who support them. And yet, many expressed that they were missing a space where they could speak openly about their experience without feeling judged.
In many traditional cultures, motherhood was accompanied by a broader support network. Today, however, many women go through this stage with less structural support than they need.
That is why simply coming together, listening, and sharing became something deeply meaningful.
In a way, the workshop offered something beyond advice or tools: it offered the reassurance that none of them were alone in what they were feeling.
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Meeting the Inner Child
At one point, the conversation shifted toward something more psychological, and a topic emerged that I found especially powerful: the inner child.
Reflecting on one’s inner child is not exclusive to motherhood. But becoming a mother can make unresolved parts of our personal history much more visible.
Sometimes, when a woman becomes a mother, she may forget that she too is living her life for the first time—her first time being a mother.
The fact that you are now raising your children does not erase your story, your wounds, or your emotional triggers.
That is why it is so important to find moments to connect with that inner child. Because what we do not process often ends up being projected onto others.
I especially remember a question Cristina asked the group, without expecting an immediate answer:
“Am I acting from my wound, or from the person I want to become?”
It is a simple question, but a deeply revealing one.
It is easy to fall into old patterns, to react from insecurity or past experiences. But pausing to observe ourselves honestly can open the door to more authentic change.
That said, self-reflection only has value when it comes from compassion. When it comes from judgment, it only adds more weight to the pain.
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Presence Does Not Have to Be Perfect
Toward the end of the workshop, another theme appeared—one that is very present in many mothers’ experiences: the difficulty of truly being present.
Many mothers wish to be more present with their children, but everyday life does not always make it easy.
Life becomes filled with responsibilities, fatigue, and constant demands. And when a second child is born, many mothers feel that time becomes even more limited.
Even when trying to dedicate time to an older child, a newborn inevitably requires more physical presence.
The reality is that a mother cannot divide herself in two. But accepting this with kindness toward oneself is not always easy.
Perhaps the work is not about finding a perfect solution, but about learning to hold these emotions with greater understanding.
To sit with them.
To recognize them.
To meet oneself with a sense of gentleness.
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More Than a Workshop, a Space
At the end of the session, one feeling remained clear.
Cristina Montoro had done more than guide a workshop. She had facilitated a process of recognition.
What I understood through this experience is that motherhood is not simply an identity one suddenly adopts.
It is a continuous negotiation between who you were, who you are, and who you are becoming.
The body changes. The mind expands. Guilt appears and reappears. And beneath all of it, there remains a woman who continues discovering herself in real time.
Perhaps what these workshops offer most is not a concrete solution, but something simpler—and at the same time deeper: a space.
A place where mothers can exist beyond expectations, beyond performance, and beyond comparison.
A space where presence does not have to be perfect.
It only has to be honest.
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Isabella Arguello
Psychologist and collaborator in Cristina Montoro’s therapeutic space.
